do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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