Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
