Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
