i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize