..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
