All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
