Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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