HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
