I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize