You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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