I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
