doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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