i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
