Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize