You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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