no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
