My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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