do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
