Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
