I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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