Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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