one two three fourrrrnication!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
