were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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