physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize