Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
