i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
