If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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