everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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