home. puking in laundry basket.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
