he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got inside last night via doggy door
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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