so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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