i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
