that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
