1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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