Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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