Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize