there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i need some magic done to my vagina
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
