Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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