We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
