I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
