When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
