I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
