Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
