I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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