I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
