I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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