Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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