toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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