There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
