I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
