You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
