all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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