As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Im just a social blackout drinker.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
