I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
