did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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