ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
