I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
