dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
