How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
