sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
